The Smack Heard Round the World
Opening
Nowadays everything is polarized and political hobbyism is now our nation’s favorite pastime. Pop Culture events now only serve the purpose of having people line up to promote their side of the aisle and clown the other. Everyone is mad and hates each other. Examples of this include Simone Biles opting out of the Olympics, Alec Baldwin shooting someone, Lebron James getting fouled, and Elon Musk tweeting. Everything happens for a reason and that reason is to reinforce biases and add to my doom scrolling.
But every once in a while an event happens that is so complex that political affiliation no longer matters. Will Smith smacking Chris Rock is such an event.
I will bless thou the knowledge and separate all major political parties in the following groups based on their view of the seismic event.
Joke is JUSTIFIED, Slap is UNJUSTIFIED
Contains: People who shout “lets go brandon” at sports events, youtube prankers, Bam Margera, Middle siblings, girls who lost their ID and are using their passport to get into the bar.
Joke is UNJUSTIFIED, Slap is JUSTIFIED
Contains: Cancel culture, Southern Republicans, Coastal Democrats, Dudes who drive camaros, Will Smith, horse girls, seagulls, those annoying Australians you met at a hostel
Both are UNJUSTIFIED
Contains: Ted Cruz, Feminists, Male youth pastors, Gal Gadot, southwest airlines, girls with “just for fun” bios, Sam Hunt
Both are JUSTIFIED
Contains: Sam Petralia, John Mayer, , Tito Cruz, Tattooless Pete Davidson, Chris Rock, girls who drive Jettas, Nathan Fielder, bowling alley bartenders
The Whole Event is Staged
Contains: Self-proclaimed free thinkers, AP Gov Teachers, Female youth pastors, guys who bring up crypto on hinge dates, blue light glasses wearers, Tucker Carlson
Hollywood is Stupid and the Oscars are a Worthless
Contains: Super fun people at parties, Dane Cook’s brother, people who “had covid in Jan 2020”, Linkedin influencers, idiots, the person reading this who upset me this past weekend
Conclusion
This event officially ends covid and there are now only two timelines in history now Pre-WSS (Will Smith Smack) and Post-WSS.
The whole event is really funny and therefore justified in my eyes. The screaming afterward was cringe but all a part of gods plan for a Hall of fame day of content.
Real winners
- IP Owners of GI Jane
- Chris Rock
- Oscar
- Meme Makers
- Will Smith
If you noticed I switched from calling it a smack to a slap for SEO purposes of covering all bases. While we are on this topic I am also now going to mention Trump, Tim Tebow, and Pete Davidson (again).
Thanks 4 reading,
Sam
